It’s odd how different things are important to each person.
As I spoke with survivors about their experiences with the different types of surgery, reconstruction and chemotherapy, there was one big question that loomed in my mind regarding the first couple of weeks at home after surgery –
Would I be able to wipe my own butt?
I know, it seems like a silly thing to think about. It might even be a little bit of displacement behavior on my part, diverting attention from the big issues to something that on the surface is trivial. Let me put it in context for you:
In 2011 I had neck and spine surgery spending most of the year in one or more braces. If the body braces weren’t bad enough, I had one additional small complication – the pressure on my spinal cord prior to surgery was so severe that it resulted in permanent nerve damage. I had partial paralysis of both arms for the first few weeks after surgery.
It was then that I realized there are some basic day to day necessities that no one talks about when you’re getting ready for surgery and signing the huge stack of forms and disclosures. How you will be getting in and out of bed, feeding the dogs, and showering to trying to read your smart phone with progressive lenses when you can’t move your neck. Think that last one should be easy? Try it, the effort drove me crazy (okay, crazier).
But the butt was the single most important thing that I failed to prepare for. There is nothing quite like the first time you are in the bathroom and it hits you that you have to pull the help cord to have one of the nurses come wipe you. Truly horrifying. I decided then and there that my personal milestone for being able leave the physical rehabilitation facility and go live alone at home was WIPING MY BUTT!
I have learned from my mistakes! That is STILL my main criteria for being home during any recovery phase and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t play into my decision on the type of reconstruction I wanted.
Option 1: Mastectomy / no reconstruction or delayed reconstruction – one night in the hospital, go home taped up in a surgical bra with a drain, big scar, can always be covered with beautiful tattoos
Option 2: Mastectomy / Immediate Reconstruction (DIEP Flap) – 8-10 hour surgery, four or five days in the hospital, go home with a surgical bra over taped up chest, hip to hip slice across abdomen plus tape & surgical corset, four drains, can’t be alone 24/7 for the first one to two weeks, can’t drive for several weeks. Its an investment in time and endurance.
Option 3: Mastectomy / Immediate Reconstruction (Implants) – shorter, more simple surgery and easier recovery
I seriously underestimated the amount of assistance that would be needed after surgery and for how long. I have a lot to think about between now and my appointments with the general surgeon and the plastic surgeon next week.
Now don’t worry friends, whatever I decide I’ll have a contingency plan so that none of you will be faced with a full moon after I get home.
Just curious – if you don’t or didn’t have a spouse to help you in a situation like this, WHO in your circle WOULD YOU ASK to WIPE YOUR BUTT?
Winning The Booby Prize 